


3-2-1 She Came to Fuck

by mcrevenge



Category: My Chemical Romance, The Used
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-20
Updated: 2012-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-29 20:19:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/323789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcrevenge/pseuds/mcrevenge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikey's room reek of pot, booze and sweat. When his brother Gerard, a feminist and hopeless romantic decides to join them, and lays his eyes on Bert McCracken he knows his brother is doomed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	3-2-1 She Came to Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Here, have some filthy!girl!Bert/hopelessromantic!Gerard.

When Gerard comes into Mikey's room down in the basement and lays his eyes on none other than Bert McCracken, Mikey knows his brother is doomed. She's a self-proclaimed orphan, getting kicked out of her family home at sixteen, running off to New Jersey and living off of different people. She's filthy, dishonest and an addict.

Gerard falls head over heels. Mikey knows he likes his girls a little dirty - oily hair and hairy armpits. Everyone in the room is witness when his brother suddenly sports a boner as Bert slides her hairy calves into his lap. He watches as Gerard traces the outline of her small - a little saggy - breasts outside her ratty Guns N’ Roses t-shirt with his eyes. He really is doomed, and even more so when she slides into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck, letting Gerard take a peek at the one inch long hair sticking out under her armpits. Gerard bites his lip, putting his delicate hands all over her tiny ass on the outside of her black, dirty Dickies. "I wanna see your tits," he says a little too loud, and Bert giggles her trademark crack giggle as blood streams into Gerard's face. She whispers something into Gerard's ear, and Mikey assumes she's inviting his brother for a fuck, because they're off the couch in an instant, and Gerard is still having a very obvious hard-on as Bert leads them out of the room.

A few minutes later there's a bang on the wall; the wall separating Mikey's room from Gerard's. Some high-pitched moans, then Gerard telling Bert they must be quiet because their parents are upstairs in the living room. Then all he can hear is the repeating, steady sound of Gerard's headboard slamming against the wall. The sound stops, and the bed creaks. There's another bang on the wall, and then some rustling in the sheets. _The walls down here are really too thin,_ Mikey thinks and maybe he will ask Gerard to at least move his bed if he's gonna keep having Bert over for bed-visits. Later, when they are both dressed again and back into Mikey’s room with the other drunkards, Bert says out loud to Mikey that his brother’s tongue must be a gift from the gods.

After that night Bert comes over on a regular basis to fuck his brother. Sometimes, when she’s on her period and high on girl hormones she’ll stay and watch a movie after they’ve fucked and let Gerard have his arm around her. On some very few occasions, she’ll even let Gerard kiss her gently and stroke her hair. Mikey is sure it’s just to keep his brother interested, but Mikey knows that’s not needed. His brother is way too into her. Mikey doesn’t let her know that, though, because he knows how much Gerard treasures those moments.

And while they should be the perfect match - they’re not. Bert is too restless, way too fucked up on drugs and alcohol to even think about really settling down with anyone even if she deep down maybe has a tiny soft spot for Gerard. Gerard on the other hand, dreams of them getting sober together and finishing college and maybe some day even get married and have children. He’ll even say it out loud sometimes, but Bert always laughs it away and tells him to start thinking with his dick.

They’re so dysfunctional it’s hurtful for Mikey to watch. Bert keeps breaking up with Gerard on a regular basis, then they’re back together. Sometimes he even loses track whether they are together or not. It’s still a mystery to Mikey how they even consider themselves as a couple as Bert only comes when she’s horny or there’s booze and pot, and always refuses to go out with Gerard, even if it’s just to the movies and Gerard offers to pay. Somehow though, that keeps his brother happy. At least for the time being.

But time comes eventually for Bert to break up with his brother for good. She’s heading back to her hometown in Utah, having been offered a spot as the singer in some punk band Mikey’s already forgotten the name of. He finds Gerard sitting on the sidewalk at the bus stop in the middle of the night, three hours after Bert’s bus left. His eyes are puffy and red, and an urge to knock in Bert’s teeth creeps throughout Mikey's entire body. He sits down and wraps a comforting arm around his brother as Gerard spends an entire thirty more minutes to sob, this time on his brother’s shoulder. "I truly love her, you know?" he says and Mikey knows he means it, he knows it too well and wishes he never invited Bert over, wishes he would have told Gerard to stay away because he knew Bert would fuck him over. But it's too late, and Gerard keeps rambling about her, how she had told him to call her if he ever found himself in Utah, how soft her lips had been when she'd kissed him goodbye.

Mikey finally succeeds in getting his brother off the sidewalk and walks with him back home. He tucks Gerard into his bed, but his sheets reek of sweat and sex and Bert and that sets him off again, so he ushers him into his own room. Tucks him into bed again and sits on the edge of the mattress and strokes his hair until Gerard falls asleep. Then he pads into Gerard's room, throws the sheets and everything else that smells like Bert into the washing machine. He searches his room for stuff she might have forgotten, and ends up with some dirty underwear sticking out from the mattress on Gerard's bed. He walks over to their neighbor to throw it in their trash, just in case. He deletes her phone number from Gerard's phone before creeping into bed with his brother, hoping that it will do for now and that eventually she'll erase herself from Gerard's mind, too.


End file.
